I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
