Pants 0. Shit 1.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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