Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
