You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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