Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
meet me or not, i'm out of control
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
