THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
