Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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