Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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