Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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