gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
