I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
