my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
