Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
