by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
