but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
