I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
