It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
