Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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