wakey wakey hands off snakey
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize