He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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