so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
