I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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