He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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