My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
