i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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