Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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