i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
