Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
