Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What a fucking waste of an outfit
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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