I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
