my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
