Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
they need to just BURY HIM!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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