butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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