I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Terrible idea I love it
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
