who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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