guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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