a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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