Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
