Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
