I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
