i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Drunk is a universal language darling
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
