im six kinds of drunk right now
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
