He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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