his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
