dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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