We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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