Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
