i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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