Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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