ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
