doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
