So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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