Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
