the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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