Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How external is "for external use only"?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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