Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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