And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
