if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
