it was like eating out sand paper
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
