Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
