I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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