woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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