New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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